Yo-yos

Why is that when one goes up, the other comes down? Such a common pattern in relationships, but as M makes a come back from feeling blue for a few days, I have switched places to feeling like I’ve had enough!Is it okay to say that?!
A run of home schooling and sleepless nights has put my reserves into the red and suddenly 6 weeks feels like an awfully long time! I’m running out of energies too with my efforts to help the hospice become more efficient. The efforts of trying to make days fun and make sure everyone else is ok are taking their toll. I suspect the biggest thing is there’s nowhere to go to take a moment out, no friends to take a walk or a cup of tea with, no ‘me’ time....stepping out of the house is just too like heading into a sauna.
I’ve booked us a weekend for M’s birthday at our wonderful Christmas destination (no coincidence that this was the last place everyone slept well), but missing my mum’s usual birthday present to himself of a weekend away for us both without children! Best present ever!!
When I take a step back and reread the above, I get a reality check at how lucky I am to have those complaints. Compared to the lives outside my door, my moans are trivial; I’m not worrying if my children can eat, or if I can afford medicine when they’re poorly or if my roof is going to leak with the coming rains.
Water supplies are running low, the land around Muheza is scorched dry with large swathes of burnt areas where fire has taken hold. M tells me the real-time heat has been 48 Celsius the last few days with the humidity of the air. The world feels like it is holding its breath waiting for the rains. They are close. The clouds are gathering - the first shower fell yesterday and with it such a welcome drop in temperature. The rains will be in full flow as we leave and I don’t doubt we’ll be wishing for wellies by then.
This morning I was on the verge of booking flights home. This evening we have had a harmonious family meal on the edge of the sea and I am now relaxing in the upstairs of the‘honeymoon’ suite (the family rooms were taken!). There is a tapestry of stars above the palms outside, the gentle breaking of waves is the only sound. Perhaps we can imagine there aren’t really 3 young ladies downstairs for whom we are responsible. Would be a shock for the next real honeymoon couple if we left them!
Without a doubt family life is a yo-yo of emotions. Or is that just me?!